Loss of life is absolute, but accepting these facts can feel impossible. I found it exceptionally difficult to surrender to the reality that the person who gave be life was now a part of my memory. Letting go came with an incredible sense of guilt, feeling as though I was abandoning the person I’d lost, even while I felt lost and abandoned myself. Acceptance and surrender allowed me to begin to slowly let go of the profound injury I carried with me for such a long time—feelings I held onto in order to remain connected to the past.
With Resurfacing, I document the emancipatory transition from mourning to healing. Unlike the black birds of my previous series, the white birds of Resurfacing signal the release of past burdens. Each image depicts the emotional shift from darkness to light, highlighting the a newfound sense of life and levity.. The cracks of light that emerge after great mourning are depicted through muted hues. Sturdy rocks suggest the foundation of strength required for taking off into the world again, lifting into the air with all the promise of hope. The discovery of my own resilience during trauma was profoundly beautiful, and so human. To resurface after grief is to witness life in one of its most poetic states. My message in this series is that grief need not define us. It can simply reshape how we see and engage in the world.